syncopate my skin to your heart beating
by psychrollins
Summary: Dean was a moth to a flame, and Roman was the brightest beacon of light he'd ever come across, and soon he found himself back where he shouldn't be, in Roman's bed and in his arms and loving absolutely every minute it.


**A/N: I know I should have updated my fics before I posted this but I've been dealing with some stuff and I couldn't quite get this out of my head so I had to do it. Shameless bit of ambreigns smut slightly based on the songs The Hills by The Weeknd and Good To You by Selena Gomez. Title taken from the Selena Gomez song. Enjoy and please review and tell me what you think, I've been lacking positive words recently.**

/

Dean's got a beer bottle pressed against his lips when the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. He swallows instantly, shifting a little in his seat. His body shouldn't be tingling like this, skin shouldn't be on fire like this. Not for him, not for anyone but his boyfriend but God damn it his skin is on fire. This is how he should feel when Seth, his _boyfriend_ , walks into the room, he should feel every fibre of his being ignited when he's near, but he doesn't. He only feels like this when _he_ walks into the room. That big wall of a man that he calls his best friend, but is the man who makes his heart beat impossibly fast in his chest and goosebumps to rise on his skin.

 _Roman_. Dean can't explain it really, what it is about the man that has him feeling like a twelve year old girl with a crush, but he knows that he's never felt like this with anyone, not even Seth, whom he claims he loves more than anyone. But Roman, Roman makes him feel like nobody in the world exists but them and its dangerous really, because one person should not have such a hold over another, not such a hold that you can tell when they walk into a room without even seeing them, but he's entwined in that hold and he can't get out.

It's Roman's fault, really, well mostly anyway.

Roman had always, grounded him, right from the very beginning. Gave him the best advice when he realised that he liked Seth, stabilized him when Seth stabbed him in the back, respected him when he took him back. It had taken him a while to understand _why_ Roman had been there the whole time, holding onto his head above water and making sure that he _breathed_ but when he did, there'd been this erratic fluttering in his chest. The realisation had come when he'd been drunk and Roman's hands had been all over him, holding him up as they walked back to the room they were sharing that night. He can't remember what made him realise, maybe it was the look in Roman's eyes or the softness of his hands, but all he really remembers is having Roman helping him out of his clothes and Dean opening his big mouth and saying "You love me."

The edges are blurry now, he can't really remember what happened afterwards but he does remember how Roman's big hand came up to his face, fingers taking hold onto his chin and murmuring "Of course I love you, always have."

It had been a week later that it was brought up again, Seth was on another tour and he and Roman were sharing a room again and the tension between them was somewhat amplified. He can't even remember how it happened, but he'd woken up naked with Roman equally as naked, his whole body practically wrapped around him.

Dean had felt guilty at first, so guilty because after taking Seth back from a _betrayal_ this felt like he'd got some sick, twisted revenge that he hadn't planned. But then, Roman had been shifting awake, all soft hands on his body and a kiss to his hair before getting up and showering. Things had gone back to normal, pretty much, and they hadn't spoken about it at all and he definitely hadn't told Seth.

He thought that he could just forget about it, it had been a stupid mistake and it didn't need to be brought up.

But then, then all he could think about was Roman's hands on his skin and how his big body looked looming over him with lust blown eyes, foreheads pressed together.

Dean was a moth to a flame, and Roman was the brightest beacon of light he'd ever come across, and soon he found himself back where he shouldn't be, in Roman's bed and in his arms and loving absolutely every minute it. What kept him going back was how Roman made him feel, like he was actually _alive_ and _living_. When Roman touched him, it was like turning on a light when you'd been in the dark for too long.

And for some reason, all Dean ever wanted to do was to prove to Roman how _good_ he was, and how he could do things. Roman had this hold on him, this presence that just made Dean so compliant, he's pretty sure that Roman could ask anything of him and he would do it.

And yet, he still stayed with Seth, who knew absolutely nothing about the affair going on behind his back.

A heavy hand on the back of his neck makes him jump, fingers like hot pokers smoothing onto the back of his head, tangling into his hair. He breathes heavily through his nose, daring to look up at the man standing beside him. Seth is away on another tour again and he knew that this was how the night was going to end, in Roman's bed and his own body and emotions completely betraying him.

He shouldn't want this, shouldn't feel his heart beating wildly in his chest when Roman leans down, lips pressed to his ear whispering in a quiet voice, "You look good, babe." but he does. And when Roman's fingers softly massage his scalp, because Roman knows that releases all the tension from Dean's body, his skin shouldn't break out into goosebumps and a shiver shouldn't work its way up his spine, but it does. And Dean knows, that no matter how hard he tries to fight it, he's never going to be able to pull away. Not on his own, not unless Roman cuts the ties that bind them.

He knows that Roman wouldn't do that, though. Because as much as the man pretends to have gotten over Seth's betrayal, no matter how much he pretends to be Seth's friend, there's still an intense, burning hatred for his once little brother. And even though Dean knows that the main reason Roman won't let him go is because he loves him, underneath there's also the sick satisfaction that Roman gets from knowing that he can so easily pull Dean away from Seth. That at the end of the day, he's the one that Dean's going to be thinking about and always going to come back to.

And ain't that the hard truth? That at the end of the day, it's always going to be Roman.

He knows it now, now that Roman's leading him up to his room, a warm hand on the small of his back, slipping under his shirt and pressing his fingertips to skin, that this is how it's going to be until the inevitable happens and they get caught. Or they have the _talk_ that they've been avoiding, the _telling Seth_ that this has been happening because they want _more_ and they want to be _together_. It's not unknown to Dean, that Roman wants him the way Seth has him.

Dean's not sure when that will ever be, whether he will ever fully commit himself to wanting that, because he does love Seth, and he knows he always will, but what he has with Roman is so real, so raw. So much of what he needs comes from Roman, but then Seth is _Seth_ , Seth's been a thorn in his side that injects kryptonite into his veins from the very start and there's still a part of him that doesn't want to lose him again.

But the way Seth makes him feel, it doesn't come close to how Roman makes him feel.

Roman's voice startles him, all thick and low, "What're you thinking about, baby boy?" Roman is sat back in the armchair near the bed, elbows resting on the arms with his hands clasped together.

Dean shrugs his jacket off, actually hanging it up because he doesn't want to deal with Roman whining at him about it right now.

"Nothing much, just things." Dean waves off Roman's concern, and fights off the urge to scratch behind his ear because then Roman will know that he's lying, and he doesn't want to get into that right now. Whether Roman believes him though is another thing, but the big man seems to ignore it if he doesn't and crooks a finger at him, beckoning him over.

Dean complies, because he can't _not_ , and steps over to where Roman is and stands in front of him. He's itching to touch him, fingers tingling and ready to roam the expanse of tanned skin beneath Roman's clothing. Patting his lap, Roman reads his mind, the gesture getting Dean to slink into his lap, hands instantly going around his trim waist.

Roman's lips ghost across his collarbone, breath hot against his already heated skin. It has Dean's hands tangling in Roman's soft hair, tugging him slightly up towards his neck. Roman's hands tighten around his waist and Roman's murmuring into the crevice where his shoulder and neck meet.

"What d'ya want, baby?"

Dean moans as the words vibrate deliciously against his skin, "Want you to fuck me, Ro."

A soft mewl involuntarily leaves his mouth when one of Roman's hands slips around to cup the bulge in his jeans, his expert fingers working wonders despite the layers of clothing between them.

"Mhm? Want me to make you feel good?" Roman grips Dean's jaw with his free hand, making him look into his already lust filled eyes, "Who can make you feel as good as I can, baby boy?"

Dean shakes his head, grinding his hips into Roman's hand for more friction, "Nobody makes me feel like you, Ro." Roman hums in approval, pulling Dean down for a slow, sloppy kiss that has Dean whining when Roman increases the pressure on his crotch.

"You want me to fuck you, huh Dean?" Dean's nodding as much as he can with his chin being held by Roman's strong hand, but it makes Roman grin anyway, a kiss being pressed to his lips. "Get me ready then, babe." Roman leans back in the chair, releasing Dean from his grip. Dean slithers from Roman's lap onto the floor, perching on his knees. Dean's deft fingers move to pop the button on Roman's leans forward, hands gripping Roman's thighs as he slowly pulls the zipper of his jeans down with his teeth. He looks up at him through lust clouded eyes, long dark eyelashes fluttering as he tugs Roman's jeans and boxers from his legs. He lifts his hips up, letting them pool at his ankles.

He marvels at Roman's large, tanned thighs. So broad and thick and as he smooths his hands over them, eyes zoned in on Roman's hard cock that's pressed against his belly, he feels like his hands are going miles across the warm flesh.

Dean gently presses his lips to the crook of Roman's knee, slowly moving up Roman's endless legs until he's at the upper inside of his thighs, gently nipping at the soft flesh. It causes Roman's cock to twitch and a gentle hiss to pass through his lips. Dean leans in closer, kissing the head of Roman's hard length softly, before peeking his tongue out between his lips and licking a strip from the base to the head. Dean keeps his eyes trained on Roman's face, tongue flicking over the head of his cock, gathering the precum that's leaking out of the slit and smearing it over his lips.

It's a filthy move and he knows it, but he also knows that Roman absolutely loves it when he gets like this, he knows he's pushing the right because Roman is threading a hand through Dean's slightly sweat-dampened curls and guides his open mouth onto the swollen head of his cock.

Dean swallows as much of him down as he can in one go, his tongue swirling around the underside of Roman's cock. Roman's moans cause him to increase the suction, inching down Roman's length further until he feels the head hit his throat. Dean stills for a moment, adjusting, breathing, feels Roman's fingers caress his cheek before he's moving again, bobbing his head up and down Roman's length again.

He's pushing Roman closer to the edge, can tell by the way Roman's hand tightens in his hair and the groaning from above him. It's confirmed when his head is given a not so gentle tug, mouth making an obscene noise as he's pulled off Roman's cock. When Dean's eyes flick up to his friends face, he sees that all too familiar possessiveness in his grey eyes, jaw locked in an animalistic hunger.

"Get on the bed, on your back with your legs spread open baby boy." Roman growls. Dean pushes himself from the floor wordlessly, padding over to the bed and shaking his hips a little more on purpose. He pulls off his own clothes, and as he does so Dean watches Roman, watches him kick away his jeans that have pooled at his ankles and pull his shirt over his head. He can't help but groan at Roman's large, toned body. He'd never seen somebody so beautiful, so built like a God before.

In all his naked glory, Roman retrieves a small bottle of lube and a condom from his bag. He crawls on the bed and Dean can't help but grin as his big frame comes to loom over him, arms either side of his head, body settled between Dean's legs.

"Hey gorgeous." Roman kisses him, all hard and possessive, his tongue tangling with Dean's and taking control instantly. It's only Roman that he will ever submit like this too, can't ever lose control like this unless its Roman. His lips move across his jaw, down the side and too his neck, nipping gently. It's not hard enough to leave any marks, Roman knows he can't leave any marks that Seth would be able to see, but he knows that Roman wants to suck a large, dark mark somewhere extremely visible because that is just what the man is like like. Possessive, protective, and if Dean is brutally honest, he loves it.

Roman tweaks one of his nipples with his teeth, causing Dean to whimper quietly, and suddenly feels a slick finger teasing his hole, spreading cool gel gently around his entrance. He pushes back into the touch, hoping that Roman will get the idea.

He does get the idea, because he lets out a little laugh against Dean's stomach, but he doesn't make any move to push his finger in, only teases Dean more and presses kisses into the soft flesh of his stomach.

"Roman." Dean whines, hands tangling in the bedsheets beneath him. He writhes again, a whimper escaping his lips before Roman is suddenly taking pity on him and pushing a finger in. Dean makes soft whining noises as Roman pumps his finger in and out of him, curling his finger and brushing Dean's sweet spot. Dean pushes his ass back with each curl of Roman's finger, whimpering. Roman pushes another one in, stretching and scissoring him.

"Ro, please," Dean whimpers, again feeling Roman's fingers brush his sweet spot, its not enough and he needs _more_. "Ro."

"What do you want, baby boy? Hm?" Roman's voice is like velvet, soft and silky against his thigh where he's been pressing light kisses.

" _Roman_ , fuck me, please." One last kiss is pressed to his inner thigh and then Roman is pulling his fingers out - which makes him whine at the loss of contact - and rolling the condom on, slicking himself up with lube.

Roman lines himself up, one hand guiding him in while the other is holding onto Dean's hip, large fingers splayed across pale skin. Roman pushes into him teasingly slow, on purpose he knows, so Dean can feel every inch of the filling him up until Roman is buried to the hilt, hips flush against him.

Slowly, Roman pulls nearly all the way out, the tip being in just slightly. It drives Dean crazy, the way these slow movements make his whole body buzz with such a _need_ that his hands are balling into fists as Roman slowly pushes back in.

" _Ro._ " The broken moan that attaches itself to the end his words is enough to make Roman pick up the pace, beginging to thrust into Dean slowly. Roman moves so that he's hooking both of Dean's legs over his shoulders, his big arms wrapping around Dean's shoulders and pressing their bodies incredibly close.

Roman's thrusts pick up speed gradually, until he's pounding into Dean and every thrust is hitting his sweet spot head on, making his whole body thrum with a numbing pleasure. Their foreheads are pressed against each others, and Roman is peppering kisses across his flushed, sweaty face and whispering words of absolute adoration to him. His own throbbing cock is trapped between their bodies but the friction is enough to pull Dean so close to the edge that he can taste in on the tip of his tongue.

All it takes is a hard thrust and Roman's low rumble of, "Mine," into his lips that has him tumbling over the edge into an intense orgasm, cum spilling out of his cock and splashing onto their stomachs.

Roman doesn't last much longer, cumming himself with a loud, primal growl that has Dean's name laced in there somewhere. Roman rides out his orgasm, slowly thrusting in and out of Dean before he's flopping down in a bundle of limbs beside Dean, panting and sweaty.

Right now, Dean should be feeling waves of guilt flood his whole body, but all he feels is spent and, blissfully happy. Still high from his orgasm and drunk on the sweet words Roman had whispered to him. And what really makes him sigh in happiness and roll into Roman's arms, tucking his head into the crook of Roman's neck is that he knows everything Roman said to his the absolute truth. Not just something to say during sex to fill the silence, they were everything Roman felt and wanted Dean to know.

And maybe Dean should feel bad that once again he's betrayed the trust of his boyfriend, but right now all he can think about is the way Roman's arms hold him tight and the sound of his voice in his ear as Roman tells him he loves him.

But he doesn't feel bad. He will in the morning, and when he has to see Seth again, but right now, right now he's happy.

"I love you too."


End file.
